Sustainia or Dystopia?

Growing up as a child of Bengali Hindu parents in Germany, I witnessed the profound influence of my parents' stories in shaping my life and instilling important values. These stories, in parts mythological deity tales, and in parts stories of a happy village childhood full of mischief and goodness, taught me the significance of choosing the right path, thinking of the people and world around us, and listening to our conscience.

To this day, I feel a literal pang of conscience when I consider something that deviates from my values. Growing up in the 80s and 90s as a girl of color, I also encountered stories of otherness, not belonging, and the need for hypervigilance, as I tiptoed around the possibility of breaking some kind of cultural code, I wasn't aware of yet.

Stories possess incredible power, capable of healing or hurting, uniting or dividing, and inspiring hope or despair. In our beautifully diverse and complex world, there is no definitive rulebook for the right behavior. However, I believe we all yearn to be part of a story that embraces love, identity, togetherness, care, and values. When our stories celebrate and value our differences while creating a powerful vision of the world we desire, we can find the necessary momentum and motivation to collaborate and work towards this vision, relating to ourselves and the world around us.

The Power of Relating

In 2014, my co-founder, Anna Katharina Meyer, and I embarked on a series of monthly "sustainability self-challenges" through our organization, FindingSustainia. (a Think and Action Lab network of transdisciplinary experts, facilitators and entrepreneurs striving to make transformational impacts) These challenges involved embracing plant-based lifestyles, practicing zero waste, supporting local producers, and living on a limited budget for organic ingredients. Though not always easy, these challenges were fueled by a strong "Why" that brought adventure and companionship, outweighing any counter-narratives of deprivation or inconvenience.

Through these experiences, we began to explore the intersection of sustainability, well-being, and the essence of a good life. We discovered that our brains thrive on novelty and exposure to new experiences, and that well-being and alignment arise from a combination of routines, rituals, and embracing the unfamiliar.

While we all need a personal "Why," it is within the collective "We" that we find support and momentum, illustration: PantherMedia via picture alliance

While we humans tend to look for results that validate us, it is – quite counterintuitively – kindness, gratitude, and acts of service that increase our well-being.

While embarking on these challenges, we realized that we could not have accomplished them alone. While we all need a personal "Why," it is within the collective "We" that we find support and momentum. We refer to our collective purpose as "Sustainia," a utopian goal that serves as a pathway rather than a destination. "A Better Me for a Better World" encapsulates the spirit of our collective pursuit.

There is immense value in being part of a positive and supportive tribe, where we contribute, receive support, and find inspiration.

These challenges involved embracing plant-based lifestyles, practicing zero waste, supporting local producers, and living on a limited budget for organic ingredients.

Initially focused on sustainable behavior change, our organization has expanded its focus to tackling loneliness as a catalyst for societal change, particularly addressing the issue of change agent loneliness and burnout.

The Loneliness Pandemic

The prevalence of loneliness in the Western world is a cause for concern. Social connections and interactions are diminishing, and studies have shown that social media connectivity has aggravated feelings of isolation. Loneliness expert Murthy suggests that loneliness can lead to increased polarization and hinder our ability to confront the climate crisis and inequality.

Trust in one another and institutions is at a historic low, and loneliness has adverse health effects, including an increased risk of premature death, heart disease, stroke, anxiety, depression, and dementia. Change agents, including activists and those in caregiving positions, are particularly susceptible to loneliness. Change agents tend to burnout not due to a lack of purpose but from caring deeply and feeling isolated and not sufficiently (self-)effective in their pursuits.

When we work with sustainability managers in big corporations, many also suffer from a myriad of stumbling blocks and being treated as spoilsports when trying to do their work. Just imagine if those of us who are catalysts of change had better support networks and enjoyed more appreciation in our society?

Loneliness can lead to increased polarization and hinder our ability to confront the climate crisis […].

Positive narratives hold a significant role in shaping our beliefs, values, and behaviors. They have the power to transform and inspire sustainable actions while fostering a connected society. By highlighting the benefits of sustainable practices and linking narratives to local businesses and community identity, we can instill a sense of shared responsibility and belonging. Positive narratives not only motivate individuals but also promote values such as trust, love, integrity, and collaboration – through relating.

Systemically Induced Feelings

It is essential to recognize the influence of free-market mechanisms in shaping narratives, even if we are not consciously aware of them. Social media and advertising manipulate narratives to serve their interests, often perpetuating consumerism and feelings of inadequacy. Through targeted ads, curated content, and algorithms that prioritize comparison, these mechanisms fuel an unending desire for more, leading to excessive consumption and travel.

"Comparatitis," feeling the other always has and does and is more, sadly directly impacts environmental degradation as well as degrading our sense of self. It is a clear lose-lose. We consume differently when we care – about the person we buy from, the people and resources involved in the process. We are willing to think beyond pricing; our attitude alone makes the good more durable. The trouser isn’t just any trouser; the chocolate is filled with the taste of a beautiful story.

"Comparatitis," feeling the other always has and does and is more, sadly directly impacts environmental degradation as well as degrading our sense of self, illustration: Zoonar | Dzianis Vasilyeu via picture alliance

Acknowledging the dynamics of consumption vs. caring allows us to question the narratives presented to us and make conscious choices aligned with sustainability and well-being. Timing social media use as well as restricting ads and unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of unworthiness will benefit us and the planet in numerous ways.

There is something about savoring – the elegant sufficiency of loving every item of my wardrobe, enjoying a meal without taking numerous photos, uninterrupted play with our children or chats with our loved ones. Just being in the moment and enjoying what there is.

I limit the amount of news I read and which news outlet I choose. Well-being is tied to willpower, and willpower is a limited resource. Routines and rituals like this make it easier on our systems to operate without exhausting ourselves. And yet I make it a habit to confront myself with opposing views – trying to understand beyond my own comfort zone.

The Value of Empathy

The value of empathy and understanding diverse perspectives are crucial for bridging divides and inspiring sustainable change. I had the privilege of meeting Gülcan Nitsch, founder of Yesil Cember 13 years ago. Through highly personalized and hands-on communication approaches, Gülcan actively engages with Turkish media and the Turkish community in Germany, mobilizing them around environmental issues.

Overcoming barriers and promoting change requires an understanding of human behavior and decision-making. The reptilian parts of our brains tend to make us opt for the habitual: convenience and comfort, while we thrive when we make room for the new. This can be also key to sustainability and justice matters.

The reptilian parts of our brains tend to make us opt for the habitual: convenience and comfort, while we thrive when we make room for the new.

The "meat paradox" serves as an intriguing example. It refers to the conflicting beliefs and attitudes individuals hold towards meat consumption. While many enjoy the taste and convenience of meat, they are also aware of the ethical and environmental concerns associated with factory farming, not to mention the adverse health effects on us humans. This paradox often leads to defensive responses when encountering vegans, to protect one's own beliefs and choices.

Positive Psychology

Positive psychology can help ease defensiveness and encourage curiosity by showcasing better alternatives that benefit our health and beauty goals, for instance, as well as contribute to animal welfare and the planet. We can craft narratives that resonate with individuals, trigger positive emotions, and motivate sustainable actions.

Communication is key – with ourselves and others. Any kind of thought or feeling is vital - the question is what we make out of them. A fleeting feeling of envy is okay, acting enviously less so. But how do we react to opposing views?

Positive communication techniques and active listening are vital in relating to differing viewpoints. By presenting ideas in a calm, rational, and fact-based manner, while avoiding inflammatory language, we create spaces for understanding and productive dialogue. In Non-Violent Communication, we can react to a statement but never to a person.

I am an avid proponent of IMAGO dialogues of rephrasing what the other says to invite dialogue and to create a safe space for relating. It is powerful when we are feeling heard. The less cornered we feel, the more open we are. Having what we say mirrored often leads us to question our viewpoints and find a consensus. Needless to say, there are conversations that are better avoided to preserve our energy. It is our role to be the change and not to preach.

Walking the Talk

Leading by example is a powerful way to inspire sustainable change. When we embody the values and practices we advocate for, we become role models and inspire others to make positive choices. This way of life is fueled by trust – in ourselves and in others, as well as respect.

When we move away from guilt and shame-based motivation and persuasion, we can inspire change on a level that comes from relating and deep care. Most of us display intrinsic motivation, by e.g., getting up for our crying babies at night or showing up for elderly relatives.

The question is how can we reproduce this innate care for other areas of life that we may not yet relate to? Stories may not be everything, but they are a crucial part of the puzzle. And these stories need a mix of emotion and a value wake-up call.

When we embody the values and practices we advocate, we become role models and inspire others to make positive change, illustratioin: Zoonar | CarmelStudio via picture alliance

My colleague sustainability thinker Christian Berg writes in his book “Sustainable Action” that we can only preserve what we (can) love. And how can we love nature if we, particularly as city-dwellers, do not experience her enough? In Paris, trash is everywhere, to an extent that I at times do not notice it anymore. Whenever I am in nature, it hurts my senses to see trash, and I naturally pick it up as an act of love. Which places evoke love in you?

Grassroots Engagement, Effective Communication

I find solace and inspiration in following positive figures around the world like Vandana Shiva (India), Greta Thunberg (Sweden), Valerie Kaur (USA), and Wangari Maathai Kenia), who exemplify mobilizing underrepresented voices for positive change through relating. They demonstrate empathy, grassroots engagement, effective communication, and a focus on social and environmental justice.

Then there is the content we expose ourselves to. Our streaming services are full of dystopian stories of post-apocalyptic horror visions. Scientists warn us gravely. We need to understand that the climate crisis is real – but we need hope and love, not just shame, just as much as we need water and air and sustenance.

Stories of hope, such as Valentin Thurn's "Story of A New World," can counterbalance divisive narratives, fuel optimism, inspire positive action, and guide us towards a better future. It's crucial to be selective in what we read, watch, and listen to, just as we carefully choose the people and places that inspire us.

We need to understand that the climate crisis is real – but we need hope and love, not just shame, just as much as we need water and air and sustenance.

My co-founder Anna is such a person to me – not only do we share a vision, but we also share values of positive communication, embracing change, and the desire to be the change together. As a place, Stuttgart, where I am based, has been my go-to for a while. I am moved and inspired by local activists and the collaboration between the environmental department of Stuttgart, different NGOs and organizations.These people and places nourish my vision of Sustainia and give me a taste and feeling of what Sustainia could be like.

The pursuit of a Better Me for a Better World is deeply rooted in the neurobiology of human behavior. When individuals in Sustainia embrace self-efficacy, they tap into the brain's reward systems, experiencing a sense of agency and empowerment. It feels good to do good – and it feels even better when “doing good” is the norm, and you feel connected instead of isolated when striving towards it.